It’s taken me about a year to muster the courage to write my very first blog post. Part of it was plain old procrastination, but there was also the issue of what to write that I agonized over for months. After all, it’s the very beginning of something, the inception, the planting of a seed so to speak, so it better be good, right?
That’s just too much pressure, in my opinion! We’ve all got way too much stress in our lives as it is, so why create even more unnecessarily? This morning I decided to give myself a break and just write something.
One of my favorite writing teachers always said, “Write what you know.” Okay, so, today, here’s what I know:
I’ve been “sober curious” for over 100 days and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon. I’ll give you a bit of background: In January, I buckled down and did my first Whole30, a topic that probably deserves its own blog post. If you’re not familiar with the diet - or rather “lifestyle” as the founder would say - it involves giving up a laundry list of food groups (grains, added sugar, dairy, beans, the list goes on), alcohol being one of them. I happened to also be reading Ruby Warrington’s latest book Sober Curious at the time. The book inspires and encourages readers to have their own “sober curious” journey, so to speak, by giving up alcohol for 100 days. I figured, if I was already giving up alcohol for 30 days, I could try for 100.
I did the math. 100 days = 3 months and 10 days to be exact. I started on January 1, 2019, so my 100 days officially ended on April 10, 2019. It’s now April 20, and I’m still going strong.
After the first few weeks, alcohol’s power kind of evaporated. I no longer have that habitual craving for a glass of wine at the end of the day. What’s replacing that craving, however, is a massive truckload of emotions and feelings that come in waves.
Yeah, wasn’t expecting that. All of a sudden, I feel way more deeply than I have in a long time. Getting sad news feels like I’ve been dropped into a pit of overwhelming despair, a happy moment becomes blissed-out joy that makes me want to jump around and hug everybody, and moments of self-doubt resemble sheer panic. It’s both hair-splitting and invigorating at the same time. It also has me feeling like I’m going kind of crazy.
If I may quote Ruby Warrington herself:
“The good thing about sobriety is you get all your feelings back. The bad thing about sobriety is you get all your feelings back...”
But I’m also getting better sleep, my gut is healing, I have clearer skin, and I finally feel like I have some clarity and focus in certain areas of my life.
Is this all from giving up alcohol? Could be. I like to say I’m still in the beta phase, so time will tell. But I do think that saying ‘no’ to the sauce has set off a chain reaction. Instead of relaxing on the couch each night with a glass of wine in my hand, I’m doing more things that bring my soul joy. I’ve dedicated more time to my writing, I’ve stuck to a consistent exercise routine, I’m reading more, I’m cooking more wholesome meals, and I’ve been falling more in love with my tarot practice. All these things combined have created a perfect recipe for deep, inner soul work.
There’s so much I could write about on this sober curious journey so far - so much that I’m thinking about writing a much longer piece that really explains the highs and lows in greater detail. Stay tuned!